Florence is full of immigrants, like myself, and also a lot of illegal immigrants at that, like myself. Because they are illegal and jobs are hard to find in Italy, they do what they can for work. But I am going to focus on the Africans. They are very nice and trustworthy unlike most immigrants. Usually they sale the knock off designer purses, watches, belts, shoes and they also stand out in front of bars, grocery stores and the such selling things out of their duffel bag.
I'm having a bit of a moral dilemma.
I have no problem buying from them when they are selling something that I might need and occasionally I will give them my spare change. A few times I have had a feeling to buy them some food for lunch while I was in the store. If you recall the story of Cloe and Brody giving them sandwiches after school. But there is one particular African that gets on my nerves. He is almost always out front of our grocery store trying to sale things or just asking for change. Fine. But I started to notice that he was totally ripping me off when he would try to sale me things whereas the others wouldn't. And so I just completely stopped. And then once he saw me in the store and asked me to buy the food he had in his hands. And I did. But the straw that broke the camels back is the most recent. I bought my kids a little bag of chips to share for the walk home and as we were walking out of the store, He asked little Abbey, who was carrying the chips, if he could have some! And mid asking, stuck his hand in the bag and grabbed a hand full! I was quite shocked and a little irritated. Then the next day as I walked in, he asked if I wanted to buy something, I said no and then he asked me to buy him some food and a drink. I did not.
But on my walk home I was bothered by this because I was so torn. It is freaking expensive to live here, the dollar is worthless and he is asking for my help. What does he think I am? besides a rich American of course. But then I kept going back to "what would Jesus do?" Who am I to judge? I've been more blessed than him, shouldn't I give to those who are less fortunate because I've been blessed?
Can you help me out here?
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14 hours ago
9 comments:
I'm thinking you've done your part; when he steals chips from a 3-year old, that ain't cool. I think there is a line between serving and being taken advantage of.
I'm probably going to light on fire now.
You are so nice, I don't even think I would go that far. Maybe he feels like he knows you well enough now that he could just take the chips. I kind of feel like he is taking advantage of your generoustiy though. Maybe next time buy him some cheap bread or something, but I wouldn't do it all the time, but like I said you're a lot nicer than I am.
Yeah, that's a tough one. I hate feeling like I am being taken advantage of, but at least he's asking for food and not straight out begging for money. Maybe next time you can make a peanut butter sandwich before you go to the store and just give him that when he asks you to buy him something :)
Oh, I missed the part about him always asking for change. Maybe you can still give him PB sandwich, but put it in your back pocket before you ride your bike to the store.
Wow - I think judging people comes naturally to us as humans and it is one of the hardest things we have to make a concious effort not to do everyday. I think you have set a very good example for your children that you can be proud of. I would also have to agree with Sydney...you should try making him a sandwich or bringing him an apple the next time you go to the store. If you feel taken advantage of buying things from him, make a point not to. However, keep in mind maybe he doesn't know any better, and maybe your kindness and generosity is the only he sees most days and so he seeks it out. Although, it is easy for me to say this from the outside. Do what is in your heart I guess.
One more thing, did you ask Abbey what she thought about him taking her chips? I think children are a lot more honest and chirst-like naturally, the jadedness comes later in life :) I would be interested to see what she thought. I wouldn't doubt that maybe it did not even phase her.
Oh and HI COURTNEY!!
Yeah, i agree with everyone else. I think you've done your part. I wonder if he's used to you buying him stuff all the time and he's starting to expect it. Yes, you are more blessed than he is, but that doesn't mean you have to give him money/food all the time. Just my opinion. :-)
When a man approaches my small child a line has been crossed and I go from being charitable to being the protector. He's out.
OOOh. This is a toughy. It's wonderful to be able to serve and help where we can, when we feel that its needed and appreciated. I makes me sooo agitated when I feel like I've been taken advantage of. I love MElinda's response.
Listen ladies,
You are all so 'torn' over this 'situation'. Bottom line is, it's my money, and it's borrowed money at that. Blacky can find other means of survival. Courtney needs to just save our money and look the other way. Learn to say no once in a while. This dude is an opportunist and knows an easy mark. Even Brody knows he can get whatever he wants from Courtney if he's annoying enough. Of course, blacky McAfricano Mambo Bimbo has it figured out. He's been around a lot longer than Brody.
Keep it real!
-Ryan
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